Dad Jokes

[player 1]

Ok, I'll start with a couple, please feel free to add!

My friend is addicted to brake fluid. But he reckons he can stop any time he wants.

Did you hear that the meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died.
He was 86, but he felt like 75.

[Jacks Fur Coat]

Ha...good idea mate. Dad Joke fiend from way back.

I'd add some, but I'm busy today with this great book I'm reading on gravity. I can't put it down.

[horrie hastings]

I want a new bum because the one i've got has a crack in it.

[Jacks Fur Coat]

My nephew just called. Apparently his school is having a tribute to Reggae day. He wants to go as Bob Marley and needs help with his hair. I'm dreading it.

[Jacks Fur Coat]

You heard about the bloke trying to get into the nightclub with a set of jumper leads? The Bouncers let him in, but warned him not to start anything.

[horrie hastings]

I saw an orange stopped in the middle of the road and realised it had run out of juice.

[mightyrooster]

As ‘groan worthy’ as Dad jokes are, I think we also need some Mum jokes.

Why was the baby strawberry sad? Her Mum got into a jam.

[ism22]

Why did Fergo bring a ladder to the pub?

’Cause he heard the beers were on the house.

[horrie hastings]

How do you make a hankie dance ?
Put some boogie into it,

[ism22]

What sort of key do you use to open a banana?

A mon-key :P

[dice]

What did the drummer name his four daughters?

Anna 1
Anna 2
Anna 3
Anna 4

[horrie hastings]

What happened when the frogs car broke down ?
It got toad away.

[Mickie Lane]

Why was the picture sent to prison
Because he was framed.

[Jacks Fur Coat]

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust.

[mightyrooster]

My Mum used to have a fear of hurdles. But she got over it.