The R U Ok? thread

[mightyrooster]

To RWB, NC, JFC and HH, thanks so much for your very kind words and thoughts. I've had a lot of obstacles and downers in my life but I do try to get on with things as best as I can. As I said before, at least God made me a very determined person!

RWB, I do feel for your Aunt and I cannot imagine what your parents went through losing 3 precious children.

I love my Roosters and I love spending my time here on the Chookpen catching up on all things roosters. The Roosters are my passion, my obsession and escape from the realities of life. I've loved the team for nearly 40 years now! Even when the team has a bad game.

May you all have a wonderful 2015.

[chook 56]

A big thank you to everyone that has responded to this thread with words of kindness and sharing their life with us all.

Rwb I had no idea that your Mum had to endure the heartbreak of lost babies. Just terrible but is no doubt part of why you are such a lovely person.

MR, what a champion you are. I doubt there would be many that could do what you have & still have this positive attitude that you extrude. And yes, your are right, life isn't always fair but we do the best we can. I like to think it is part of what makes us a better person.

Parky, my old mate. As you say, just keep swimming, bro. Early days and it will get better.You have some great friends and family in your life. Embrace them.

Eddie, you are struggling mate. I can feel it. Confide & get help, if it all seems too much.
Hang in there mate.

To JFC, Turk and Axeman. Thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot.

What hits home, I think, is the fact that one never has any real idea what is going on in someone's life. In everyday life I find myself dealing with a difficult customer and have to check myself with my responses. Sometimes it turns out this person is having a terrible time with similar problems that we have. Some of these end up being good friends & customers just because you had a kind word or the time to listen. Empathy is a word that is forgotten so much these day.
I try to step away from anyone that is aggressive or rude, both here and in person. A confrontation and slanging match rarely give a desirable result and we should always remember that anger and hate are always perpetuated at ones own expense. It is wasted energy and soul destroying.

Keep swimming, my friends and try to laugh more. It helps.

[redwhiteblue]

Mighty Rooster, Parkway Drive and Chook 56, what has happened and happening to you puts all of our insignificant problems pale into nothing, cannot imagine what you have been through and are going through.

I do have to say a big thankyou to redwhiteblue who helped me get through a big problem a couple of years ago, I wont go into all the details but work wise I was dealing with someone who had a serious drug problem and I tried to cover for him, in the end it caused me to have a breakdown but my partner and redwhiteblue gave me clarity and helped me out of a very dark corner.
redwhiteblue has been there for me anytime I have had a problem[and believe me there have been plenty] and I am always thank full for all the help she has given me and the friendship that will last forever.

Now you are just giving me a big head and I won't be able to wear my tin foil hat for much longer! I truly do not know how I would have coped without you either over the past few years. It's truly frightening how much damage can be done to our souls by the acts of others. I thought opening my shop would be a joy and a life long dream fulfilled. Instead it became a nightmare and a frightening place for me after the assault and the smashed window. If it weren't for you and Jack’s Fur Coat keeping in touch with me, whilst I was in Melbourne recovering, I think I'd still be stuck in black misery. I was so scared to go anywhere, I didn't do any exercise and so the weight piled on and my knees ached when I walked upstairs. I'm now 5 dress sizes smaller than I was in those days and walking up and down Heartbreak Hill is just my every day way of getting home from the bus stop. I don't hide in nasty black clothes anymore nor do I allow anyone to take away my personal serenity anymore. I've had too much time stolen from me and never again will I allow this to happen to me, or anyone I care about. Since I've come back to Sydney, I've carved out a new career for myself and have been rewarded with a transfer to a new department of our company, which is growing rapidly. (4 Dragons fans in the team ) None of this came easy to me. Each day has been a delicate struggle, but I remained focussed and didn’t throw in the towel this time. There have been days when I don't leave the apartment, but because of Horrie Hastings, I never once have felt alone.
If I did not have you to message every day with very important updates of what I am having for dinner and how many episodes of Melrose Place I got through during the weekend and how many Vermin stickers there are between Dover Heights and Edgecliff then I would have stayed living in my black hole too. I now know that the worst of it is over for me now, but for so many others, I know it seems hopeless. Please don’t ever give up on your friends and don’t feel hurt if they don’t contact you all the time. Not everyone is up for the social whirl all the time and not everyone is the life of the party. Just leave the door open..that’s all anyone can ask for really..

[redwhiteblue]

A big thank you to everyone that has responded to this thread with words of kindness and sharing their life with us all.

Rwb I had no idea that your Mum had to endure the heartbreak of lost babies. Just terrible but is no doubt part of why you are such a lovely person.

MR, what a champion you are. I doubt there would be many that could do what you have & still have this positive attitude that you extrude. And yes, your are right, life isn't always fair but we do the best we can. I like to think it is part of what makes us a better person.

Parky, my old mate. As you say, just keep swimming, bro. Early days and it will get better.You have some great friends and family in your life. Embrace them.

Eddie, you are struggling mate. I can feel it. Confide & get help, if it all seems too much.
Hang in there mate.

To JFC, Turk and Axeman. Thank you for your kind words and support. It means a lot.

What hits home, I think, is the fact that one never has any real idea what is going on in someone's life. In everyday life I find myself dealing with a difficult customer and have to check myself with my responses. Sometimes it turns out this person is having a terrible time with similar problems that we have. Some of these end up being good friends & customers just because you had a kind word or the time to listen. Empathy is a word that is forgotten so much these day.
I try to step away from anyone that is aggressive or rude, both here and in person. A confrontation and slanging match rarely give a desirable result and we should always remember that anger and hate are always perpetuated at ones own expense. It is wasted energy and soul destroying.

Keep swimming, my friends and try to laugh more. It helps.

This is so true my friend. There are 2 people I know who have caused me a lot of angst in a work situation, to the point where I became very sick and had to take leave in August 2013. (If it weren't for SBW and that blessed trophy, I would have written off 2013 as another nightmare year!) I found myself with these 2 people during the recent siege and both were very frightened and I was the calm one. Out of all the people I was around, it had to be those 2 didn't it? Well, I walked with both of them to Circular Quay to make sure they had a way of getting home to their part of the city, even though it meant I had an hour's wait for my own ferry. That day changed the face of Sydney forever and for me personally, it taught me a few lessons as well. Quite often, especially with women, jealousy, fear and insecurities raise their ugly heads all the time. It's very easy to write someone off as being a bitch, but quite often they are just shy, scared or plain worn out because of something draining going on behind the scenes which we may not be privy to. I've learned I can't control the garbage which comes out of someone else's mouth, or keyboard for that matter, but I can control my reaction to it. It's coming up to Charlotte Dawson's anniversary soon..a cautionary tale if there ever was one. Like you Chook56, I stay away from anyone who doesn't give off the right 'vibe', so to speak. I have the reasonable expectation that anyone who wants to be part of my social circle will treat me with respect and intelligence and not mistake me for someone who has the IQ of a turnip. I don't think I am asking for too much.

[Parkway_Drive]

Hello all,

Thank you to each and everyone one of you who has contributed to this thread, just even mentioning I have a problem (even not talking about it) and interacting with each and everyone one of you on this thread is somewhat therapeutic.

All the best to BWT, NC, HH, MR, RWB, JFC (it is starting to sound like the Roosters 2013 team with the 3 name monikers lol!), StevieJ, Axe, Turk (Rob) I hope you are reading this you have many friends here , Fiddy Six, SoS and Eddie. You guys are friends of mine now even though I have only met about 3 of you in person so far. The fact we are Roosters (or in BWT's case) rugby league fans brings us together, the fact we share with each other something about ourselves and support each other means a lot.

So true that what RWB and Fiddy Six said about not knowing what others are going through and not to add fuel to the fire, that is something that I have learnt, I haven't perfected it, very far off (as those who know me can attest lol!)

Godbless you all and your families....and Eddie if you don't mind can I add you as a friend (contact) on the Pen and also mate PM me anytime you want, we are probably completely different people in many ways and react to situations differently, etc, but in some ways we are travelling on the same journey and I wouldn't mind sharing some of my coping mechanisms with you. I am sure Chook Fiddy Six would like to add you as well.

Take Care all....

[chook 56]

I am sure Chook Fiddy Six would like to add you as well.

Of course

[Guest]

Hello all,

Thank you to each and everyone one of you who has contributed to this thread, just even mentioning I have a problem (even not talking about it) and interacting with each and everyone one of you on this thread is somewhat therapeutic.

All the best to BWT, NC, HH, MR, RWB, JFC (it is starting to sound like the Roosters 2013 team with the 3 name monikers lol!), StevieJ, Axe, Turk (Rob) I hope you are reading this you have many friends here , Fiddy Six, SoS and Eddie. You guys are friends of mine now even though I have only met about 3 of you in person so far. The fact we are Roosters (or in BWT's case) rugby league fans brings us together, the fact we share with each other something about ourselves and support each other means a lot.

So true that what RWB and Fiddy Six said about not knowing what others are going through and not to add fuel to the fire, that is something that I have learnt, I haven't perfected it, very far off (as those who know me can attest lol!)

Godbless you all and your families....and Eddie if you don't mind can I add you as a friend (contact) on the Pen and also mate PM me anytime you want, we are probably completely different people in many ways and react to situations differently, etc, but in some ways we are travelling on the same journey and I wouldn't mind sharing some of my coping mechanisms with you. I am sure Chook Fiddy Six would like to add you as well.

Take Care all....

Definitely.
I have trust issues with shrinks and gps, but have and long and trusting relationship with my physcologist (spelling) and
would be happy to share his pearls of wisdom that relate if it helps anyone.
he specialises in PTSD, but that leads to anxiety and depression.
Years of boxing things up and not admitting to weakness has only made things worse.
Thanks for you thoughts.

[Guest]

PD and 56.
I aint real good with computers, but I think it worked.

[chook 56]

PD and 56.
I aint real good with computers, but I think it worked.

It did, indeed, my friend.

[horrie hastings]

Now you are just giving me a big head and I won't be able to wear my tin foil hat for much longer! I truly do not know how I would have coped without you either over the past few years. It's truly frightening how much damage can be done to our souls by the acts of others. I thought opening my shop would be a joy and a life long dream fulfilled. Instead it became a nightmare and a frightening place for me after the assault and the smashed window. If it weren't for you and Jack’s Fur Coat keeping in touch with me, whilst I was in Melbourne recovering, I think I'd still be stuck in black misery. I was so scared to go anywhere, I didn't do any exercise and so the weight piled on and my knees ached when I walked upstairs. I'm now 5 dress sizes smaller than I was in those days and walking up and down Heartbreak Hill is just my every day way of getting home from the bus stop. I don't hide in nasty black clothes anymore nor do I allow anyone to take away my personal serenity anymore. I've had too much time stolen from me and never again will I allow this to happen to me, or anyone I care about. Since I've come back to Sydney, I've carved out a new career for myself and have been rewarded with a transfer to a new department of our company, which is growing rapidly. (4 Dragons fans in the team ) None of this came easy to me. Each day has been a delicate struggle, but I remained focussed and didn’t throw in the towel this time. There have been days when I don't leave the apartment, but because of Horrie Hastings, I never once have felt alone.
If I did not have you to message every day with very important updates of what I am having for dinner and how many episodes of Melrose Place I got through during the weekend and how many Vermin stickers there are between Dover Heights and Edgecliff then I would have stayed living in my black hole too. I now know that the worst of it is over for me now, but for so many others, I know it seems hopeless. Please don’t ever give up on your friends and don’t feel hurt if they don’t contact you all the time. Not everyone is up for the social whirl all the time and not everyone is the life of the party. Just leave the door open..that’s all anyone can ask for really..

Really missed you when you were in Melbourne, missed dropping into the shop for a chat, I was always going to keep in contact when you went to Melbourne, just ashame we didn't catch up when we were in London at the same time back in 2011.
You were such a big help when I was going through the drug related problem at work, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I was having huge anxiety attacks just going to work, also having anxiety attacks going to bed at night knowing most of the time I was going to get texts or calls at 3am in the morning from this drug whacked person not being able to open the shop, I covered for him and lied for him to our area manager because I thought I was doing the right thing by a friend, I now realise that this person made his own choice re the drugs so I should have just let him sink and reported him to higher management in the company, I ended dropping from 91 kilos to 84 kilos during this period, I just was so glad you were around during this period to talk to and vent some of the problem. I did ended up going to a psychologist about 3 months after the this person was terminated because I was still having anxiety attacks going to work and just coping with things in general, I felt violated but the psychologist sessions really helped and made me feel more positive about life in general especially work, the whole thing seems such a distant memory now and I am settled in in another position at work with better hours and have also got back to 90 kilos again[although its mainly all belly, lol], so much happier now but I will never forget what happened.

[Parkway_Drive]

PD and 56.
I aint real good with computers, but I think it worked.

It worked mate..
Cheers!

[Guest]

I did something right yay.

I even worked out that you need to use caps lock for the dash between your moniker.
(but it took a while)

[Guest]

It did, indeed, my friend.

And I did it on me Pat Malone.

[redwhiteblue]

I worry about him all the time and hope he will have a successful future.

MR, your son is already a success. He has you for a mother.

[redwhiteblue]

so much happier now but I will never forget what happened.

I'm grateful I was able to help you in some way just like you did for me and thank you for trusting me. One day when we are really really old, after the Roosters have won their 20th consecutive grand final, we will look back on those days as a distant memory, rather than something that haunts us. I'll never be dragged down like that again - this much I know. I'll take a leaf out of Mighty Rooster's inspirational book of determination and not to let everything get on top of me like that again. It takes a long time to recover and anyone reading this who is suffering should not feel pressured to 'get over it' or 'move on' to suit the timetable of others. If you are going through tough times, treat yourselves with dignity, kindness and patience, and don't see yourself as 'damaged', a terrible label some people tend to give themselves. Do something small every day to treat yourself and it can make a difference.