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Melon’s Matchups 2012 – RND7 – Chooks V Cowgirls

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  • Melon’s Matchups 2012 – RND7 – Chooks V Cowgirls

    So winning ugly is the new black......and Chooks fans are happy to take the points but knowing where it’s all going is still a bit of a mystery. Inconsistency can do that. And the only consistent fact between the Chooks and the boot scootin’ grog boggin’ bogans, is they’ve both been recently touched up by Meldrum. This week we head up to the top end, and although listed a Chooks home game, the Cowgirls’ “braas” will be more suited to the Kakadu conditions.

    1. Anthony Minichiello V Matthew Bowen – Seems “The Moth” is not done yet. Trying harder than ever with a burst of energy usually seen just before the body gives in and the spirit leaves it. Career in the death throws but the Spaghetti Machete is going to go out all antennae blazing. He is up against another in their twilight, the permanently growth stunted “Webster”. Unlike “The Moth”, this bloke has bounced back from serious injury and has regained that elusive speed and ability. He is old, but as lethal as ever. As he has done in the past decade, will be a handful for the Chooks once more.

    2. Justin Carney V Ashley Graham – Credit to “Vin Diesel”. The undying underpants gnome is showing pure determination to succeed and is doing some good things, even saving tries by jumping and using his large arse to block the attackers. That’s commitment! He faces a hairy situation. “And Martin” the follicle fusing flyer, is a try scoring machine, which gets plenty of quality ball in the deep-set Cowgirl line and through the air to his corners. It’s going to be a massively tall order for our low-to-the-ground truffle hound. “Vin Diesel” will need to leap up and meet his attacker and come down with more than a fist full of hair, even if it is short and curly. Yeah Yeah.

    3. Joseph Leilua V Brent Tate – Just like JJ in Good times, the more “Florida” yells at him the less she gets heard. Doesn’t know what to do to get a quality pass or decent support. I think James Senior may be called upon to straighten out Kid Dy-no-mite in the 6. He will be busting again as he takes on “Roger Ramjet”. The journeyman knows how to click with his inside men and will be troublesome enough to keep “Florida” worried about JJ again.

    4. Shaun Kenny-Dowell V Antonio Winterstein – Rocks or diamonds is the norm from “Skidmark”, and lately he has been producing nothing but VVS carats. Proven Match winner who looks like his fitness is starting to come back and is the only real X factor the chooks have out wide at the moment. He faces the Chooks reject “Frankenstein”. In this version, Dr Frankenpolitis wanted to create a new type of beast, one that was much more advanced, faster, smarter, and stronger. But his assistant QuasiSticky screwed up the pinch of tenderness, and contaminated the host carcass. The monster is back and with him the return of Dr Frankenpolitis’ nightmares. “Frankenstein” will again, show that the Chooks are only playing with a kids chemistry set. Mwwwuuuhhhahhahhhah!!! But nobody at Bondi’s been laughing since we let him go.

    5. Sam Perrett V Kalifa FaiFai Loa – At least with “Ferrett” you know what you get. Twenty dummy half runs for 169 meters per game and at least one butchered try. The little digger is going to have to dig deep to get through “Queen Latifa”. Bigger than life, talented, a superstar in the making, “Frankenstein’s” twin sister from another mother. Her royal highness is a handful, and will make sure the Chooks can’t focus on containing just one side of the ruck.

    6. Braith Anasta V Jonathan Thurston – Well last week the announcement came through that “Zoolander” is changing studio labels and is heading off to the Tigpies. I feel I’ve reserved my true feelings until now and it’s time to say my last farewells. Please leave now. You have been nothing but a useless “Nice Guy” whose supposed love of this club is always eclipsed by the love of one’s self. I’m ashamed that you were ever club captain and would like to see the back of you as soon as physically, mentally and practically possible. “Zoolander” was cool in 1992. The movie has blown since 2005. I wish you all the very best of luck at the Tigpies and will even pay for the limo to take you to Shitsville every day for training, if it means I never see you in the tricoloured jersey ever again you game wrecking oxygen thief. You are just one field goal away from being the equal of the Da Finchi Code. One field goal in 2010 saved your pathetic arse. Now please **** off and allow us to re-invent our attack. He faces “Gilligan”, who should be wearing the Chooks “6” and will make “Zoolander” look like Mrs Howell. The Big question is will our forwards stop him? Because he is one of those guys who is a champion behind a rolling pack, but a chimp otherwise.

    7. Mitchell Pearce V Ray Thompson – “JrJr” starting to run at the line, but still having to do it all on his own. Luckily his forwards are aiming up and giving him the time along with the added spark from “The Ant”. Needs a good kicking game this week, and like every week, needs “Zoolander” to STAY THE **** OUT OF THE PLAY YOU ****WIT. He faces “Thommo”. Not your strike weapon, but has been known to rip a few down when in Jamaica mun. Good support for “Gilligan”. This will be Origin trial for “JrJr as he faces half a Queensland side with “Gilligan” calling the shots.

    8. Jared Waerea-Hargreaves V Ashton Sims – Big job for “Angry Birds” this week. Not only does hje need to take it to his opposite “Dim” but he must set the tone that nullifies the Cowgirls pack and thus sinks “Gilligan’s” Minnow II. The Chooks forwards must dominate and “Angry Birds” contribution is pivotal. Easier said than done, “Dim” is no dumb. He has the right ingredients to fire up his troops and ensure the fire burns in the middle and ignites the Cowgirl’s backline. Two big aggressive athletic beasts that don’t take a backward step, makes this Melon’s matchup of the game.

    9. Jake Friend V Aaron Payne – “Sandwich Hand” has taken a back seat lately as his form has been a little down and service not as crisp as the lettuce between his buns. Struggling a little with fitness and for all the criticism I don’t think he’s 100% fit. He’ll spell “The Ant” in time, and make his usual contribution in defense, but I would be giving him time off to get whatever is physically impeding him sorted, as long as he stays away from “Shire Bogan” and Coogee bars. He takes on “Panadol”. A relieving player who takes his share of discomfort, but watch too much of him and you’ll fall asleep. The Chooks hookers will give him migraines.

    10. Martin Kennedy V James Tamou – This is another matchup that will rival the one between the “8”s. “Ankles” looks mean and fit and is starting to make serious meters. His partnership with “Angry Birds” and “The Grinning Guillotine” is the platform the Chooks have been craving for and his dominant play and offloading ability is keeping the Chooks in many a game. He faces ar Mountain of Longhorn in “Courteous Cow”. The polite parmalat-arian is a Blue ribbon winner at the show and will take some effort to rope in. Thankfully I think the fitness of “Ankles” will win out in the end. The usage and interchange between these two will be interesting given the sapping conditions.

    11.Boyd Cordner V Gavin Cooper – The loss of “Nerf Ball” sees “Body Count” re-instated in the starting line-up. Is still maturing but is showing dominance on the left side, that is equally balance by “Fittler” on the right. Hopefully he can gel with his shaky left-handers outside him. He faces a country boy from the far North mining towns “Ale”. A good worker with some sparkle in attack as well lends good support for the Cowgirls. Will be a good test, with “Body Count” winning out in the end.

    12.Mitchell Aubusson V Glenn Hall – Built for Origin. And he’ll be named this year. Trewhella’s favourite ever player “Pretty Woman” is absolutely on fire. Is playing in career best form and excels in defense and attack whether in the second row or centers. A class player that will wear the “C” proudly once the last of the bullkebab curse is gone. He will be a Rooster for life. He faces “Town”. You can pretty much get to anywhere from Town Hall station. Like one of its train services this bloke has in fact been everywhere. Has played for every single NRL club since 1908, and I’m surprised he hasn’t retired yet. He played his best football at LOL@Souffs when they were hopeless, and they got rid of him. Unfortunately this week his red rattler will be terminated. All out all change.

    13. Tinirau Arona V Dallas Johnson – “Tina Arena” returns to the main stage to deliver another performance. To date I’m not sure if her act has warranted an encore, but is there none the less warbling away supporting her team. She’s up against a legend of the Lone Star state! “JR” is bigger than Texas. He’s bigger than Nth Qld or any of the mounds of iron ore in Mt Isa. He is boot scootin’, Cats Piss XXXX drinking, yahooin’, boar wrangler to the core. He’s also suspect to groin and hamstring injuries. The Chooks will be setting sights low and hard. The crowd will still be wondering who shot JR?

    The Bench

    Guerrilla V Sarajevo
    Dalai V Crooner
    Fittler V She Bangs
    The Ant V Taliban Terry
    Mortein V Dead Sea Scrolls


    The Chooks are taking it away to the top end and looking for something they haven’t done since the end of 2011 – 3 wins on the trot. The Cowgirls take their heritage up to Arnhem, and will be pointing the bone looking to bounce back after getting their arses handed to them by Meldrum.
    This Darwin thing is a mistake. The Big Chooks forwards will start great but will be sapped in the final 20 minutes. And the Cowgirls have too many points in them out wide and will capitalise and put it to bed.

    Cowgirls by 12.
    Last edited by melon....; 04-11-2012, 01:34 PM.
    Alcohol never solved any life problems.....then again neither did milk.

  • #2
    LOL Melon Love the Anasta run down Mind you I think Finch was worth more to us As for Anastas field goal putting him just above Didnt Finch kick a field goal which took us to the front 17-16 late in the match against Cowboys in 04 Whch got us to the GF Yes we got a penalty later and won 19-16 but Finch put us in front Please do not forget this

    As for your thoughts onm the match Sadly I think you are bang on the mark and they are also pretty much my exact thoughts for this week Lets hope we are both wrong

    PS Melon I just checked and it was Finch who kicked the field goal in 04 against Cowboys
    Last edited by Andrew Walker; 04-11-2012, 01:01 PM.
    I respect all our moderators here. Past present and even future. Always have done and always will do a wonderful job.

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    • #3
      Love your work Melon!!

      Comment


      • #4
        As always, insightful, funny and succinct.

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        • #5
          Why is that everyone keeps saying Thurston should have been at Easts ?? I may have missed something earlier, but can somone fill me in ?

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          • #6
            lol awesome write up mate.

            Chook.

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            • #7
              Spaghetti Machete, LOL!

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              • #8
                Originally posted by dj_sta View Post
                Why is that everyone keeps saying Thurston should have been at Easts ?? I may have missed something earlier, but can somone fill me in ?
                He was offered by the dogs to get rid of him in 2003 but we said no and went with F...Feh...that little toad from Canberra that wasn't Todd Carney.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Andrew Walker View Post
                  LOL Melon Love the Anasta run down Mind you I think Finch was worth more to us As for Anastas field goal putting him just above Didnt Finch kick a field goal which took us to the front 17-16 late in the match against Cowboys in 04 Whch got us to the GF Yes we got a penalty later and won 19-16 but Finch put us in front Please do not forget this

                  As for your thoughts onm the match Sadly I think you are bang on the mark and they are also pretty much my exact thoughts for this week Lets hope we are both wrong

                  PS Melon I just checked and it was Finch who kicked the field goal in 04 against Cowboys
                  You said it all for me AW.
                  However I never tip against Easts....there is always hope.
                  I worry about the larger kids playing in the heat. Not so much about their performance,
                  but for their health.
                  Great work Melon........Spaghetti Machete....he he he.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by dj_sta View Post
                    Why is that everyone keeps saying Thurston should have been at Easts ?? I may have missed something earlier, but can somone fill me in ?
                    ?...mate it was Stuart was coaching us. The last game f the season,was Eats V Dogs. He was in Reggiesand we were screaming out,that the dogs didnt want him.
                    Apparently Gould approached Stuart about signing Dirt Cheap Thurston. No one wanted him,and his price was incredibly low.
                    Well, true to form Sticky said"we don't need Thurston, we have Brett Finch."......As they say, the rest is history.......

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