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Kick-off Preview
After a rollercoaster season of injuries, reshuffles, and Instagram unfollows, the Roosters take on their toughest opponent yet: The Bye. Undefeated since Federation, The Bye remain the NRL’s most consistent team—never concedes a try, never makes an error, and still somehow finishes above the Tigers.
Team List Highlights
Tedesco (C) – Fresh from running 290 metres against the air
JWH – Rumoured to be sin-binned for glaring at the scoreboard
Brandon Smith – Physically present, spiritually in Redfern already
Dom Young – Still here, but clearly has his Uber set to “Newcastle”
Trent Robinson – Trialling himself as hooker to solve the No.9 crisis
Key Matchups
- Brandon Smith vs Loyalty: The Bye might not be fielding a dummy half, but they still have better service than us.
- Dom Young vs Exit Planning: Can he finish the match before the Knights send a courtesy bus?
- Roosters vs Themselves: Our biggest challenge since Round 1.
- “Brandon’s GPS will show him drifting 40 metres into the South Sydney defensive line mid-set.”
- “Dom Young will run 100 metres… directly into the Hunter Expressway.”
- “Robbo to bring himself on at lock to ‘bring back the Bondi attitude’.”
- “Roosters by 1 – only because The Bye forgot to show up to captains run.”
With Keary retired, Brandon already tweeting like a Rabbitoh, and Dom packing his bags for Newcastle, this could be the most peaceful 80 minutes we’ve had all year. No injuries, no headlines, and a guaranteed two points… unless we somehow get done for fielding 14 men again.
Up the Chooks. Let’s take this win and pretend we’re back, baby.
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